Where's Ferb?
by Cezille07
Summary: Phineas wakes up one morning with Ferb nowhere in sight. Soon everyone realizes that neither of them can function so well without the other. COMPLETE.
1. Phineas The Frantic

**Where's Ferb? **

_Cezille07_

A/N: Apparently, I've got my "I strictly only write for Monster Allergy" policy scrapped because I found a new little show to obsess over. Sorry! Well, not really. Currently, I am just obsessing over Perry the Platypus. Something must be wrong with me for being in love with a platypus. But at least I know what to do today and the short remnants of my summer! ;D

Disclaimer: I own nothing of this awesome franchise.

* * *

Chapter 1. Phineas the Frantic.

Candace was on the phone with Stacy that Thursday morning she wished were ordinary. But the first evidence of something fishy appeared way before she awoke.

Phineas was, as usual, up much earlier than his sister. He greeted the sun on his way downstairs for breakfast, and proceeded to his spot under the backyard tree.

That was how Isabella found him two hours later.

"Hey Phineas!" she beamed, letting herself in through the fence. "You wouldn't believe what Buford and Baljeet are doing right now. They were reading through evil scientists' magazines. Said they wanted to keep updated on the tech news. It's not like evil scientists are the only clever inventors in Danville," she winked, taking the spot next to him. "So, whatcha doin'?"

Phineas looked at her blankly. "Well, to be honest, I don't know," he sighed, stroking Perry who was napping beside him.

"That's kind of odd." She looked at Perry. She found a cookie that was in her pocket, nudged the platypus awake, and fed it to him. "But you'll get to it, and I'd always be glad to help, whatever it is you decide."

"Thanks, but I'm not getting anything so far. Isabella, do you ever get the feeling that something different is going on today? Something not normal?"

"Well, not normal is just your expertise," she chuckled. "Hmm, say, where's Ferb? You're always together I'm not used to seeing just you, or just him."

"...Ferb?"

_Ferb wasn't in the next bed waking up the same time he did. The sun was boring. The cereal buffet in the kitchen was silent and empty. _

"Ferb!" Phineas jumped to his feet and ran in a circle before falling seated again. "Ferb! Where's Ferb—"

"WILL YOU PIPE IT DOWN OVER THERE? I'M TRYING TO HAVE A PHONE CALL!" yelled Candace from her room window.

"Candace," Isabella asked, "have you seen your brother?"

"Phineas is right there—"

"I meant your _other_ brother."

Candace stopped. "Uhm, Stacy, I'll have to call you back," she said in a low voice and flipped her pink cellphone closed. She came out of the back door within a minute. "So where is Ferb?"

Phineas exhaled, hugging his knees. "He's been gone the whole morning, and I didn't even realize it!"

"Just chill for a moment, you're freaking out!"

"It's not his fault, Candace," said Isabella, looking grave. She had her right hand checking Phineas' pulse, and her other hand had whipped out the Fireside Girls' Manual. "Ferb's disappearance might have triggered some form of clinical depression—"

"Whoa whoa whoa, depression?" Candace snickered. "This could actually be the break I've been waiting for! With our little step bro out of the way and Phineas in a mental state, this'll finally be the antics-free day summer promised!"

"I don't think this is the right time for that," spat Isabella, her brows furrowed. "I'm sorry to say this but you say 'step bro' like Ferb isn't really family to you."

"And I'm sorry to say this but his arrival really did fuel every summer's headache. I remember the days when it was just me, mom, and little Phineas, way before she met and fell in love with dad and his son—"

"Candace!" Isabella finally yelled, before looking worriedly at Phineas.

"Those were the days," he agreed languidly. The girls exchanged looks. "But what neither of you seem to understand is that Ferb isn't simply a brother or a best friend to me. I'll figure something out? I'll know what to do? You're right, Candace, it's always because Ferb was with me! We're a team, two halves of the same whole. In fact I can't remember life before or without Ferb. Like twins, only closer."

His older sister gave a sigh of surrender. "I know that. Just...hang on." She fished for her cellphone in her skirt pocket and dialled a number. "Mom? Where are you?"

"I'm at the spa. What is it?" Linda said from the other end.

"The spa? Uhh, is Ferb with you?"

"No, dear."

"Do you know where he is?"

"Sorry, honey, I don't know."

"Ugh, not helping!" cried Candace as she hung up. "Lemme try Dad." She tried his number. They all heard about ten rings before the busy tone sounded distinctly. "That's it! Something's really off about this Ferb business. Isabella, I know what we're gonna do today," she smirked. Phineas didn't so much as respond. "We need to get to the bottom of this. Round up your Fireside girls and we'll start a search team."

"Someone has to keep Phineas company while we're gone."

"There's always Perry—huh? Wh-where is he?"

They all scanned the area, but the platypus was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

Perry took a twentieth last look at Phineas, and this time, he finally tugged on the peculiarly large blade of grass growing beneath the garden hose. The earth opened neatly above a square meter of slide that tunnelled deep underground into his office. A twenty-first last look. He simply couldn't bring himself to work on Doofenshmirtz when Phineas, and likely Ferb as well in this case, needed him. But the faint light of his computer watch, masked by a patch of synthetic fiber in the same shade of his fur, blinked incessantly. _Monogram_, Perry thought irritably as he jumped into the slide, _this had better be important!_


	2. A Head of Green Hair

**Where's Ferb? **

_Cezille07_

A/N: It's song-montage time! ;D_  
_

* * *

Chapter 2. A Head of Green Hair.

"Good morning, Agent P. I'm sorry about what happened to your host family," came Major Monogram's words through the large monitor hanging from the high ceiling. "But as you can predict, Doofenshmirtz is up to no good again. Well, we barely know what he's been up to; since your last mission, he has done an excellent job of avoiding our surveillance, but it shouldn't be anything difficult for an agent of your rank. Find out what he's planning and put a stop to it."

Perry hesitated. Maybe it was out of place for him to ask, but OWCA intel could accelerate the search for Ferb. But Monogram didn't know everything. With a bitter salute, Perry found his hover jet and sped off to Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc's headquarters, Heinz Doofenshmirtz's home.

_

* * *

_

_What to do on a sunny day?  
The world doesn't make sense today  
Alone on colorful playfields  
It's supposed to be a you and I_

"Alright girls, ready for your Missing Person Finder patch?" declared the head of the Fireside girls. The six followers saluted, "Aye aye chief!" and scrambled about town putting up posters and asking passers-by if they had seen a young green-haired boy.

_What to do on a boring day  
when the half of me can never stay?  
Where on earth has life concealed  
the forlorn meaning of goodbye?_

"Phineas, focus!" Candace snapped her fingers in front of his face, but he remained lethargic, sitting on Ferb's messy bed. "You said you remember waking up at three in the morning. Ferb was still there, right?"

"Right," he answered. "Dad was making a racket over there by the closet, that's why I woke up. He told me to go back to sleep, that he was just fixing our clothes."

"Suspicious..." remarked Candace. "He could have been gathering Ferb's clothes by then. The question is..._why_?"

"Maybe if I didn't fall asleep right away we'd—"

"Enough of that, Phineas. We need to contact Dad..." Candace said, softly but absently. She was busy trying to reach Lawrence. But like the past hundred attempts, all she got was a steady busy tone.

_Oh how can my heavy heart find  
the lost light of the brilliant smile,  
the comfort of your silent mind,  
to walk us through each summer while?_

* * *

Perry had crash-landed through Doofenshmirtz's more commonly broken window panes and struck an attack-ready pose. But the sight of the doctor, perched motionlessly atop a massive leather armchair, instantly stunned him.

"Perry the platypus, it's you. How pleasantly...unpleasant," Doofenshmirtz half-choked. "I bet you've noticed my brand new Relaxinator. Wonderful, isn't it?" he added, patting the luridly decorated coverings of the armrest.

Perry snorted; truly, Heinz seemed to really need a high-caliber Relaxinator. The doctor had been in worse cases before, but only now did Perry observe him to physically display signs of stress: Darker lines than he was used to encircled his tired eyes, and his skin was sullen and pallid. Doofenshmirtz's motionlessness forewarned either over-exhaustion, or trap controls lying somewhere about.

"Yes, yes, I've seen better days," Doofenshmirtz explained, sensing the questions in the mammal staring up at him. "Why don't you come sit with me here while I tell you my story? No really, you're looking a little anxious yourself. Come on... the Relaxinator will take care of everything."

Perry didn't move. _How'd he tell? _ He shook his head furiously. No, the scientist couldn't fool him now even if it were his dying wish. And yet he found himself gravitating towards the oversized armchair, the image of the miserable Phineas from this morning pasted over his eyes.

"Alright, comfy? Great," said Heinz after the platypus hopped to the adequate space beside him. "You know, the Relaxinator has everything you can want. An automatic foot-massager," and two robotic arms emerged from the base of the chair and rubbed Perry's feet, "temperature regulator for the three cubic feet of air surrounding us," and Perry realized a cool draft of fresh air brushed his face, "and my personal favorite: microscopic acupuncture needles for ultimate relaxation experience." Perry suddenly felt several subtle pricks on his nape, arms, back, legs, and tail.

And for the first time since hearing Phineas' dilemma, he _did_ feel relaxed. For once, Doofenshmirtz's contraption actually worked.

"And after all that, of course you'd think anyone who possessed this magnificent piece of furniture wouldn't even remember stress, or yesterday's evening news for that matter." Doofenshmirtz looked down at Perry. He had stood up and was holding the remote in his hands. A shadow hid his face, but Perry could feel the sinister grin hiding in the doctor's weary lips. "And actually...that is _very_ correct."

As he spoke, the acupuncture needles dug into Perry's skin, and he was completely immobilized.

The problem was...he was also the most relaxed creature alive.

* * *

A/N: Yes, maybe Perry loves Phineas and Ferb too much. ;D Stick around for the next chapter, and meanwhile, please review! :)


	3. Hate to Admit It

**Where's Ferb? **

_Cezille07_

A/N: Up for some Doof drama? That and more action as we get closer to answers. ;)

* * *

Chapter 3. Hate to Admit It.

Isabella's cellphone gave a quick jitter before erupting into a recording of Phineas' voice saying, "Hey Isabella! Whatcha doooooin'?"

She grinned for a moment, remembering that odd day she was asked the question. "Yes, Candace? What is it?"

"Any luck?" asked the redhead from the other end.

"Unfortunately not. We've done an exhaustive search on the city's main thoroughfares, the suburbs, and the Googolplex mall, but no one seems to have seen him at all," Isabella replied. "How's Phineas?"

"Well, could he get any worse than he was this morning...? Unfortunately, yes."

"Candace, I'm really worried that he could be so disoriented, this lonely."

"I know! Living with him for more than ten years has proven him an optimist beyond possible optimism. But I think I understand now why he's like this; he and Ferb have been together through everything. They've never been separated _at all_, not for a single day. Ugh! He could as easily build some kind of missing...locatinator type of gadget if the inventor in him hadn't been crushed by Ferb's absence," finished Candace.

"Wait, say that again!"

"Uhh, missing...locatinator?"

"No no no no, the part about inventors! That's it!" Isabella was breathless. "Buford and Baljeet are raiding magazines full of info on new gadgets by evil scientists! I hate to admit it, but Phineas and Ferb aren't the only inventors in Danville!"

* * *

"Of course I know you're wondering what happened to me, why I look like a dry raisin. Did I really overwork myself building a Relaxinator just so I can bum around the last five days? Well—no, that's stupid. I am dead tired because I went back on all my inventions, trying as best as my distraught mind would allow to upgrade each Inator I had ever created."

Doofenshmirtz walked around his Relaxinator, grinning widely as his nemesis struggled to move. "You see, Perry the platypus, after your last visit, I was sitting on the floor of my lab, not even noticing the minor injuries I procured from your blows, staring at the mess that was left of my previous Inator. Norm came in to clean up the mess, but I didn't want him to. I was blank and fazed...and rather nostalgic: All my life was a tragic string of failures and broken Inators.

"And I have had enough. With the last of my power, I worked through the night rebuilding my very first invention as a child, taking pieces of Norm's robotic body as spare parts. When I finished, the door to my storage room let in a tiny crack of sunlight, illuminating the long array of inventions that all backfired at me at one point or another. I didn't leave DEI for all of five days, and Norm was reduced to a set of wires and used batteries."

Perry was ready to give the doctor exactly what he needed: a full-blown Bring Back Your Mind to Earthinator, in the form of a good beating. The Relaxinator, however, had other plans for him.

"But this is the beauty of it all! I get credit for the first time in my life, while you can sit there watching the mayhem unfold through this large hole in my window, courtesy of you," spat Doofenshmirtz when he saw the fragments of glass on the otherwise clean floor. "Anyways, it doesn't matter. After I take all these to the Evil Scientist Convention at the mall, all those megalomaniacs posing as evil scientists will be put to shame, and I will be recognized as the _best_ inventor, the _best_ evil scientist, and most importantly, the _only_ clever inventor-slash-evil-scientist in the Tri-state area! No more 'Roger is better than Heinz!' No more 'Baking soda volcanoes always win science fairs!' No more Perry the platypus to stop me! HA! I'm brilliant, aren't I?" he chuckled, winking awkwardly at Perry. And his maniacal laughter resounded in the building as he finally bellowed, "Farewell, my dear nemesis!"

* * *

"You're in luck! There's an ESC today at the mall's activity center. Every self-respecting, egotistic inventor who's ever tried a baking soda volcano will be sure to present something!" Baljeet proclaimed excitedly, twenty minutes later, in his bedroom. The four other people gathered there, Isabella, Candace, Phineas, and Buford, waited for a definition of the acronym in his statement.

"Uhhm, what's ESC?" Isabella finally piped.

"It's an Evil Scientist Convention!" the Indian boy answered proudly.

"Oh," snorted Candace, "I thought it was like 'Escape' or something."

Buford crossed his arms. "Baking soda volcanoes are lame."

"But every self-respecting mad guy knows that those little babies are the very heart of a child's wonder! They...are the reason science fairs thrive! The first of many achievements that would fuel endless possibilities for a budding inventor!" Baljeet cried in defense. "I made one long ago...and it was a failure."

"So much for 'endless possibilities', eh?" Buford goaded.

"Well I know my brothers didn't start with a stupid chemistry experiment; they began with a roller coaster for crying out loud!" yelled Candace.

"Of course, Phineas and Ferb are _that_ brilliant," Isabella cooed, leaning closer to Phineas, who didn't react. Upset, she went on, "So, how likely are we that some random guy has built a locator that accepts specific people as targets?"

Baljeet smiled broadly. "Very likely! You'll be surprised at what the editors of the magazine have witnessed..."

* * *

Linda opened her eyes for a moment. After lying the entire morning on her belly, she adjusted her head the other way to look at the door, where a small circular window gave a view of the mall's lobby. The hunky man who was massaging her back was now done with her hips, and he had applied perfect pressure as he slid his hands firmly down to her legs. She almost laughed—and kicked him unconscious—if she hadn't spotted five familiar children walking past the Spa Center's main windows.

_Candace and her friends?_ she thought, amusing herself. _She hasn't even called. Looks desperate, but likely another exaggeration._

_

* * *

_

A/N: Suspicious? You should be. More explanations are due, and explanations we'll get. Up next, Ferb's first scene as we find out more of what happened the night before_... _Meanwhile, please review! :D_  
_


	4. Last Night

**Where's Ferb?**

_Cezille07_

A/N: FERB-LOVERS, here he is! ;D

* * *

Chapter 4. Last Night.

Perry had watched the weary Doofenshmirtz haul his precious handiwork across the bleak tiles and out the front door. He heard a car start, engines roaring under the weight of all Doof's inventions, the gas pedal sunk hard into the floor of the car—at least he believed he did. Perry shook his head, or so he tried. Half an hour longer and he would fall asleep, trapped in the false comforts of the Relaxinator. _But I can't rest now...Phineas and Ferb..._

Luckily, something small flashed from his left arm and caught his attention: the computer watch!

"Agent P, are you there?" It was Carl the intern on the tiny LCD screen. "We've spotted Doofenshmirtz on the move across town. Where are you?"

Perry couldn't so much as chatter; he tilted his wrist, maybe too slightly, but he hoped it was enough to give Carl a view of Doofenshmirtz's emptied lair. He hated that he was a highly adept and well-trained agent, and now he could do nothing to prevent the doctor's most sinister revenge scheme yet. Fighting was a tense art, using rage to motivate movement, and pain to fuel anger—although he'd never truly been mad at the doctor—

All of a sudden, the Relaxinator short-circuited. Perry groaned. It must be the batteries.

Hopping to his feet, he activated the holographic keyboard on the computer watch and entered a message for Carl. "I know where the Doof is heading, and I'm on my way." Perry halted before keying the Send button. "There's something else. Please send me the coordinates of the Flynn-Fletcher family in real time, and if there are sightings of Ferb, update me immediately." _Send._ He exhaled. _I'm coming!_

* * *

The half-day massage treatment eventually had to end, and Linda trudged out of the Center feeling both relaxed and left hanging. However, her attention turned to Phineas and Candace by the activity center, over which a large poster bearing the event title "Evil Scientist Convention" in bold neon letters was suspended.

"So, Candace, what're you kids doing here?" she inquired, making her way to her eldest.

"Mom! Mom! Mom!" Candace shrieked while Isabella pulled the boys into the convention. "We think Dad's behind Ferb's disappearance, but we couldn't reach him all morning! Has he contacted you recently?"

If anything, Linda looked annoyed. "No," she answered disgustedly. "I haven't seen Lawrence since after supper last night."

"Last night?" The million bad things that could happen crashed into Candace's imagination. "B-b-but why? You always know where he is. And h-he'd always tell us where he's going. I don't understand. What's going on?"

"What, are you trying to bust your father this time too?"

"_What?_ I can't believe you're falling back to routine! This is a _real_ emergency, mom! Why are you acting like nothing's the matter?"

"Because nothing _is_ the matter, honey." Linda exhaled sharply. "I'm going to schedule a massage treatment for you; we can both go tomorrow to clear your head."

"The spa again? I know what I'm talking about when I say I've wrestled with stress for weeks in a row, dealing with two constant migraines! But consecutive spa treatments are an exaggeration!" Candace was unable to lower her volume, "What's going on, mom? I feel there's something I have to know that you're not telling me."

"It's a grown up thing, dear," asserted Linda.

But her daughter's inquisitive glare didn't loosen. "I'm old enough. Go on," she pressed, bringing her hands to her waist in an attempt to weaken her mother's stance.

"Well...I'm not cheating, if that's what you're thinking," began Linda. Slowly, though, her eyes lowered to the ground, and she continued speaking in a muted voice. "Let's just say...your father bores me sometimes. He gets so caught up in his hobbies, and although he's very kind and loving towards us, it's been a long time since we've 'done' anything together, if you know what I mean."

"No, I don't know what you mean. But if you can, please clear it now because the situation is of life and death. Mom, have you ever seen Phineas so...lifeless?" Linda opened her mouth to speak, but Candace quickly interrupted. "Depressed is the word until we find Ferb! It's amazing, because it has always been 'Phineas and Ferb', never each of them alone. This is the first time they've spent longer than a few minutes apart."

"And you're always trying to get them in trouble when they do nothing."

"It's _platypuses_ that don't do anything! Phineas and Ferb are the _greatest_ inventors in Danville, mom, and right now I don't care if you don't believe me, but my brothers have to see each other again. Mom...do you know where dad is?"

"For the last time, I don't know...and I don't want to know, because last night Lawrence left after I nagged him about not doing anything for a real child of 'our' own!"

Candace gasped. "But that's...that's stupid, a-and selfish! NO...you don't mean to say you're...'separated', do you?"

"I'm sorry Candace. I love you and your brothers more than you think, and our family is a bonded unit, but Lawrence and I haven't shared anything. It just occurred to me that I wanted something more than separate contributions to this family."

"I can't believe this! You and dad have never fought before..." she broke off.

"And to this day we haven't. He didn't even tell me he was leaving. I thought he'd let it pass."

Candace stepped away from her mother, betrayed. She sought Phineas, who was waiting for Isabella past the convention entrance, and embraced him.

"I'm sure glad to have you as my sister. Somewhere out there, I'm sure Ferb is too," he said, not looking at her.

Candace swallowed hard as a tear dangerously lingered at the edge of her eyes; a heavy block of guilt dropped from her throat to her stomach.

* * *

The sky had darkened beyond recognition, all trace of the summer atmosphere suddenly evaporating rapidly. Ferb was observing the cloud pattern the past hour he'd spent sitting in the back of a cab with his father. He didn't feel quite right. And it probably had nothing to do with the weather.

"Ferb, I'm sorry about all this," Lawrence said, addressing the thick car windows to his left. "You'll understand me, won't you?"

Ferb continued watching the sky. Tried keeping himself level. Refused to answer. What was to understand in what he hadn't been told?

Lawrence turned his gaze to his son. "It'll be good this way for now, but I promise I'll explain everything later."

_Why not now?_ Ferb nearly gasped at the sight of a plane that had just taken off. This place was familiar. The airport—

He felt sick to the stomach. "Stop the car," he told the driver in a weak voice. He threw open the door and half-jumped, half-limped out, landing on his knees.

Lawrence was at his side in a nanosecond, crying, "Blimey, Ferb! What's the matter with you?" after forcibly pulling him to his feet.

And Ferb could answer just one word, the only word that felt consoling in all the world: "Phineas..."

_He _did_ wake up the same time as Phineas. It was still dark outside. The unnatural noise of the closet door creaking open on its hinges was the culprit to the abrupt timing of their awakening. _

"_Dad, is that you? What're you doing there?" asked his brother from the next bed. Lawrence was startled and dropped a piece of leather baggage. _

"_Oh nothing, Phineas, just fixing the closet. Go back to sleep," was his only response. _

_While Phineas seemed to doubt the statement, it was the night, the cold air to blame that he instantly fell back asleep. _

_But Ferb didn't. Lawrence remained fidgeting with their clothes, all in silence, dropping articles of clothing into his bag. He finished in ten minutes, after which he announced, in an aggravated voice, "Let's go." _

What? Now? _Ferb sat up, turned to look at his brother. _

"_No, no, we're not taking Phineas with us." Lawrence flung the bag over his shoulder and waited for his son, but the seconds dragged. The silence dragged. "Come on." _

B-but why?

"_Don't even think about waking him up," Lawrence finished in a gritted-teeth whisper. "Get a move on," he added, walking out with the leather bag bouncing against his back with each step. _

_It was excruciating, not to cry. But Ferb remained seated on his bed, taking in the aftermath of his father's hurried packing, eyes closed in pleading revolt. At last, Lawrence came back to the room and carried his son downstairs. _

"_Phin—"_

"_I said _don't_!" Lawrence pressed his hand against Ferb's mouth as they quietly ran past the master bedroom. _

_When Ferb looked, Linda was still deeply sleeping. _


	5. Home Nowhere Else

**Where's Ferb? **

_Cezille07_

A/N: So sad...but all things must end. So here it is, the final chapter. I hope y'all like it. :) BTW, there _are _some references to some episodes here, but I don't think it's utterly necessary to have seen the episodes to connect with the segment. ;D There you go. _  
_

* * *

Chapter 5. Home Nowhere Else.

As a guard at the Googolplex, Brad was only used to entertaining odd characters and 'kindly' forcing them to leave. Today however was different. He'd been instructed very clearly that freak scientists were to be allowed inside if they presented an ID that affiliated them to the ESC. All sorts of characters had shown up since opening time, from innocent-looking professionals to actual psychos with large-scale inventions whose purpose Brad had no interest in knowing. And now he sighed at the sight of a flying car-type of object, whose driver was a furry, bluish animal with glasses and a curly brown wig and mustache. Perry the platypus, alias Dr. Wexler once more, flung a freshly laminated card from the driver's seat towards Brad, and the latter gave a sigh again. He'd have to let this animal inside too.

* * *

"Excuse me, evil scientist coming through," announced Doofenshmirtz as he elbowed his way across the activity center, to the small stage in the middle. Several bodyguards clenched their fists and punched at the nearest post to show indignation, but the doctor ignored them. "Excuse me, _hello_, do I have everyone's attention now? Good," he said, without waiting for a reply. "I am here to eradicate all you posers such that the Tri-state area will only have one true evil menace to fear: me!" he laughed.

"Jerk! Get off the platform and stop humiliating yourself!"

"That's not even evil, that's just childish."

"I remember this guy from that video of a skater in his undies ending up in the toilet!"

"HEY!" yelled Doofenshmirtz. "Your petty remarks won't matter once I unleash the power of my greatest Inator of all time—"

The crowd silenced as engine roars echoed throughout the activity center. Heads turned to the main entrance, where a hover car towing an oversized armchair made slowly towards the convention.

"Well, that's one of them," admitted the doctor, "But get a load of the rest of—"

The Relaxinator landed weightily, jolting the crowd, as Perry released the cable holding the armchair afloat and parked the hover craft.

"Darn it! Who's that over there disrupting my speech?" cried Doofenshmirtz.

Perry jumped out of the driver's seat, in his Wexler guise again.

"Oh, you. I was a fan of you, but you'll be destroyed like the rest of these wannabes," the doctor waved him away. Most of the other scientists, however, mounted their inventions and set coordinates to the lunatic in a lab coat.

Perry grinned. If these irate geniuses don't get rid of him first, then his own Inators will, those massive weapons of destruction that only ever destroyed one thing: his pride.

* * *

"Good day to you, sir! Here's my passport, my son, and our baggage," and Lawrence surrendered the specified items, except Ferb, to the man by the luggage scanner.

"Good day," the man nodded, examining the passports. "Right, everything seems to be in order. Pass through here, please," he directed them to an integrated metal-detector and heat-sensor equipment that looked just like a doorframe.

Lawrence stepped placidly through the scanner. "Alright, Ferb, let's go."

Ferb came up to the doorframe-looking equipment slowly. He took one step and it beeped angrily.

The scanner man rubbed his chin. "Sir," he addressed Lawrence, "we can't let him board. Your son appears to be running a fever, and international policies on—"

"No no no, he's fine you see..." panicked Lawrence. "Ferb why don't you show the nice man something...you like to do and can only do when you're really well?"

Ferb exhaled, "Dad, I want to see Ph—"

"That's _Linda's_ property!" yelled his father, panting. "I was only 'sharing' her half until she stopped being alright with not having a child that was really ours. We're leaving today and that's final!"

"Sir, if this is some family problem, please talk to your wife instead of running away to another country," proposed the guard.

Lawrence pounded on the guard's desk. "You're a meddler eh? I'm not running, I was born in England, and to _real _home we're headed. Let us through!"

"We're going to have to detain you both, if you keep up this sort of behavior. Maybe you'd like some tea while we're at it?"

* * *

Perry's computer watch blinked for the third time that morning. _What now Carl?_

"Agent P, we hope your hands aren't full, but...well... In response to your request earlier, I found Lawrence has made a very recent purchase of two London-bound tickets with his credit card early this morning. Although their flight takes off in fifteen minutes, video surveillance at the airport shows they're detained for making a fuss with the baggage checker. Meanwhile, the Flynn half of the family is gathered right in your vicinity. Remember that keeping your identity is imperative...but...what are you going to do about this?"

Perry's eyes widened in horror. What is this—divorce? Ferb and Lawrence going to London? What the hell happened? It was all too quick, too sudden. So Monogram was alluding to the right problem after all...

But never mind now. The kids were looking for Ferb. He _must_ let them know.

* * *

Isabella thought she saw a familiar platypus, but the hair and glasses proved her wrong. His ID said Dr. Wexler. He was an evil scientist here to show off a crazy invention. She remained observing the array of gadgets before her until she felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Huh?" she turned to see the Wexler character handing her a monitor device with red, blinking coordinates. She looked closer. The airport? "What is this?" she asked, but he was instantly out of sight. And then she saw the label embossed on the side of the screen, "Specific Target Locatinator and CCTV Viewinator."

She swallowed a large gasp. Baljeet was right...

"CANDACE!"

* * *

"Now you're making me angry, Dr. Wexler! How dare you steal from me and hand one of my original, copyrighted inventions to a little girl? Trying to show me what real evil is like, aren't you? You're a sad, narcissistic case! I'll show _you_ evil!"

Perry ducked as the crazed scientist lunged at him. Making sure Doof was still in pursuit, he sprinted for the Relaxinator, sending a few flasks and hand-held devices crashing to the floor as he passed several displays, and paused at the backrest while his nemesis caught up, panting heavily in the seat.

At that moment, Perry tore off the clothes and raised the remote to the Relaxinator.

"Perry the platypus?" Doofenshmirtz screamed, repulsed. "You've stopped me for the last time, and I'll finally get rid of you the first time!"

_Oops,_ he gulped. The evil scientists were laughing. _I should NOT have added the last clause. _

"Whatever! You're trapped this time!" he finished angrily.

But Perry merely grinned. _Why don't we let the Relaxinator decide who's trapped?_ He rotated the large red dial to its maximum capacity, and the foot massage, the air-conditioning, and the acupuncture needles reactivated themselves. Doofenshmirtz was paralyzed, falling limply to a side, much to the satisfaction of the other evil scientists. Perry dusted his hands and fur, and delightedly watched his helpless 'enemy' struggle to say his usual farewell, "Curse you Perry the platypus...!"

He adjusted his fedora, bowed to his audience, and walked regally back to his vehicle. _Get well soon from your hysteria, Heinz, because I used long-lasting alkaline batteries, not Norm's old regular ones. Tsk tsk tsk. Get well soon indeed._

* * *

Candace maneuvered the bumpy, beyond-the-speed-limit drive to the airport, with Linda sitting quietly to her right, arms crossed and brows knitted. It had taken Baljeet little time to figure out how the locator worked: The user enters as many precise descriptions to identify a query, with which the database is checked thoroughly. This database included every imaginable object and a near-complete documentation of every living being on the planet. Buford himself did the querying, and verified that it really was Ferb's coordinates that were shown on the screen when Isabella received the device.

* * *

With utmost care Ferb approached the door, turned the knob once in each direction, and proceeded to tapping specific locations around the keyhole. He recognized this lock model. The same way raindrops wear off the strongest metal alloys, a little force in a precise, constant location will transmit into the mechanisms of the lock itself, thereby allowing him to...

_Click!_

The door swung open before him, to his father's astonishment. "Ferb, how did you—?"

But he didn't care to listen. It was the tiniest calling in his gut, but that was more than enough to tell him Phineas was less than a hundred meters away.

* * *

Bryce was Brad's brother, and coincidentally, or because Bryce was naturally indecisive as a young boy, they had the exact same job, same wage, only a different venue.

Bryce spotted the red car speeding toward the main entrance to the Danville airport and knew this was the reason he should have gone for culinary school instead. _I ain't gettin' paid enough for this kind of work._

The oddball family headed by a young boy stepped out and ambled resolutely past him. The way they looked needed no halting. Suddenly, he found an excuse to attend those baking workshops he'd been wanting to join. _Yay, I'm gonna get fired! _

* * *

Phineas surprised Candace by springing out of his seat and rushing to the large hall with the locatinator in his hands. Isabella was watching from behind his shoulder how he adjusted the other dials and hacked directly into the security cameras at the detainment area. _He's back_, they all thought simultaneously, unable to hide relieved grins.

* * *

Lawrence hurtled after Ferb, afraid his fever would climb, and they would never be able to leave. But Candace was dragging his wary wife, and Phineas and his friends were heading straight for them. There was no escape. But maybe escape wasn't the answer after all...

* * *

Perry left the engine running as he hovered over one of the hangars, with a perfect view of Phineas and Ferb running up to each other at last. Candace nudged Linda in Lawrence's direction, subtly clearing her throat and tapping her right foot impatiently. Monogram streamed the audio from surveillance cameras to Perry's computer watch in time for Lawrence to come forward and apologize to his wife.

"Linda," he said, rather nervously, "last night was a stupid fight, dear. I'm sorry for taking Ferb. The boys need each other...and so do we."

_Oh yeah, I almost forgot._

A minute later, Perry appeared behind Phineas' feet, and Ferb picked him up for a tight squeeze. "Oh, there you are, Perry," said the young Londoner as his brother grinned his agreement.

* * *

"So Ferb, what're we gonna do now? It's past lunchtime and we haven't got any new blueprints, _and_ we've already found Perry," Phineas counted, patting their pet platypus resting between them.

Ferb merely returned the questioning look.

"Well, I suppose we can add this date to our calendars," Phineas paused. "What do you mean why? Major near-catastrophic shift in our way of life—"

Ferb chuckled.

"You're right, keep moving forward. Thanks for reminding me, bro."

Candace hung on to her cellphone. Through the window, everything felt normal. Her brothers planning again. Mom and dad scheduling a dinner date. She'd be alone, left to watch Phineas and Ferb surprise her with their simplistic genius. But this time, she resolved, she won't stop them. She'll wait in accepting silence and relish the one day she really appreciated having both of them just spending leisure time, as a family, however that was defined. Heck, she'll join the fun of that. A huge grin formed on her lips. Jeremy said he'd drop by and play some video games. Soon...he would also be part of the family...

* * *

Perry lay still on all fours. The morning's work with both Doof and the boys had tired him, but not enough to enjoy seeing Phineas and Ferb—as well as their parents—back to their usual selves.

He imagined what state the doctor was in. Had the other scientists clobbered him out of existence? He deserved an award that ran along the name "Most Failures Award" to inspire him to keep going. He had outdone himself with the Relaxinator, for real, and who knows what the other upgraded Inators were capable of. But that was thought worthy of another full day. Today, he knew what he was going to do, assuming Monogram doesn't abruptly call for him. Perry was going to be a platypus. And platypuses don't do much.

****END****

* * *

A/N: I'd like to thank you for sticking with me through to the end. So, uh...you know the drill, that "Review" button down there's getting lonely. ;) And check out my upcoming story "A Life that Revolved around You"! Thanks! :D


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